Self-inflicted Art School.
term one.
is it better here that I’m writing ‘horse’ not ‘ho’?
Since the start of the year, I’ve been putting myself through my own personal ‘art school’.
I realised that over the last couple of years, I’ve been looking at my art practice back to front and it’s been very slow, very sticky, and ultimately not very rewarding.
I’m in a transitional period with my work. This is a weird and wobbly knowledge to have - I know I am bridging a gap, I know I feel satisfied and as if I have completed my exploration of some lines of enquiry. I know I am bored of, moving on from, or totally over some of the content and styles I’ve worked with before, but…I don’t know what’s next, or where it’s going. It sounds cliche but with art, you just know when it’s right, and not much has quite slotted into this groove over the last 2 years. I feel like I’m in a charity shop trying on piles of clothes and nothing quite fits. Like, it’s fun? But just…nah. I’m not taking it home, y’know?
Knowing this, knowing I am wandering the weird plains in between eras, I’ve been trying to force out finished work and interesting pieces. Unsurprisingly, it’s not worked and has been really fucking frustrating. This push and pull I put upon myself, coupled with the state of the economy, where I live, the other things happening in my life, lead to a weird kind of disrespect of my own art work and practice. I was like…meh, it’s not working or making me money, so I don’t care about it.
Nothing could be further from the truth, it turns out.
what’s more art school that a load of crap on the wall?
In reality, I think I should be using this trek across no-mans-land, to develop, and explore, I should freak a flow and flow fancy free, I should remember and collect all the things that I LOVE, that LIGHT ME UP. I should not be making things ‘in my style’, or things ‘that might sell’, or things I think other people might like, or even anything finished, or ‘good’. The only way to get to the other side, to get to the next era, is to push through by playing, by exploring, and by curiosity.
i started making these little faces to express my emotions, like a literal child.
To help with this, I devised a plan: back to art school. No, not literally (in this economy?!!?), but I want to incorporate the basic elements of art school back into my life, which I believe to be:
Learning new things - via learning techniques, exploring the work of other artists, discussion, critique, absorbing any and all knowledge that appeals to you.
Reflection - learning to truly reflect on things you’ve learnt, and the work you’ve made and what it means, or how the outcome interacts with your intention. In an ideal world this would include artist crits, but in my life rn it looks like weekly tiktok videos.
Fucking around - art school is the number one time for fucking around. Bury a plastic skeleton in glitter and pretend it’s the exhumed body of Damien Hirst from a distant time in the future ? Sure. Airbrush the face of a bear you found in a carboot sale on a pair of pants? Why not. Dress up like a clown and take photos of yourself eating cake? Have at it bby.
I wanted some semblance of structure, of accountability, and a refreshment of my dedication to making, a realignment with my true passion. Turns out, it actually is making art.
I’ve spent the first 2 months of the year bearing these mantra in mind, and so far it’s been fun. I feel more energised to step into the studio, it feels more joyful and playful, I feel more connected with my practice than I have for a while, my studio space feels like mine. I’ve noticed how much I love to make, no matter what it is. Have I made anything ‘finished’ or ‘good’ yet? No. Are the seeds there? MAYBE??????
Let’s see what term 2 brings…
